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The Poet’s Page's avatar

I really appreciate the depth of emotion in both versions. The imagery is strong, and I love how the paper ball serves as a metaphor for resilience, self-reflection, and transformation. The revised version has a beautiful arc of hope, but I find the rawness of the original version particularly powerful. It captures the weight of emotions in their purest form. There's something striking about letting that moment of struggle just exist without needing to resolve it. Either way, both versions tell a compelling story, and it’s interesting to see how a shift in perspective can reshape the narrative. I am curious of your thought process on when you had revisited the poem. Did you immediately feel the need to change the ending or did it take time to settle into that choice?

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R William Parmenter's avatar

Thank you. 😊 It wasn’t an immediate need to change the ending. I read it a couple of times and thought, what if I could end it with a transformation? Because in a way I’m going through a transformation learning how to see myself in a more positive way.

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Nazish Nasim's avatar

William, this was such a novel way to describe all the complex feelings you were experiencing. Beautiful! 💜

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R William Parmenter's avatar

Thank you! 😊

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V. Walker | Poet's avatar

a haunting but beautiful read. It was nice to see your changes and understand why.

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R William Parmenter's avatar

Thanks!

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